Be Centre’s top 5 parenting tips

Be Centre has one mission; to provide hope and healing, empowering children who are experiencing emotional, social or behavioural difficulties, or who have been impacted by trauma. We want to help as many children as we possibly can, be the best they can be.

We work predominantly with 3-12 year-olds, offering age-appropriate mental health support, through the modality of Play Therapy. Our experienced Play Therapists provide specialised programs to help children make sense of situations and events, explore and express their feelings, restore trust and build self-confidence, life skills and resilience.

This month, Be Centre’s Play Therapists have put together their top 5 parenting tips for you!

1. Why is my child melting down after school?

   What’s happening: They’ve held it together all day – now they’re overwhelmed. This is called After-School Restraint Collapse.
   What you’ll see: Tears, tantrums, “You’re the worst!” or “I’m bad at everything.”
   Try this: Instead of trying to fix it, meet the feeling: “That was a big day. It feels like too much right now.”
   Why it works: Letting kids feel their feelings and being there for them when that’s happening, builds emotional muscle. It may seem counterintuitive but – Not rushing to fix it is actually ‘the fix’.
   

2. When your child isn’t acting their age

   Why: Regression (like asking for help they don’t need e.g. tying shoelaces) signals emotional overwhelm.
   What you’ll see: Whining, demands – “You do it!”
   Try this: “Shoelaces feel like too much right now? Want some help?”
   Why it works: They need support for the younger part of them. Meet them where they are emotionally.
   

3. Why fixing it doesn’t always help

   Why: Your child’s upset, and quick solutions don’t help – they want connection, not fixes.
   What you’ll see: Worry, anger, sadness, meltdowns.
   Try this: “This feels so big. You don’t know what to do. I’m here with you.”
   Why it works: Kids don’t need the problem fixed right away. They need to know you get it and that you have got them. Validation & Connection first. Logic & Solutions come later. The only way out is through. Stay With the Feeling.

4.  When you’re both upset

   Why: Big emotions are contagious – you’re both overwhelmed.
   What you’ll see: Yelling, shutting down, running off.
   Try this: Pause. Breathe. Tell yourself, “I’m having a hard time, and that’s okay.” Then tell your child, “You’re having a hard time. I’m here.”
   Why it works: When you feel settled, your child’s nervous system senses this, too. Co-regulation is like lending them your nervous system to help them settle their chaos. Co-regulation is the real superpower
   

5. When you need to say sorry

   Why: You snapped. They shut down. Now it feels messy.
   What you’ll see (and feel): Guilt, shame, distance.
   Try this: “I got it wrong earlier, and I saw how much it upset you. I was frustrated, but it is not okay for me to act that way. I am here for you now.”
   Why it works: Mess-ups are part of life. You’re showing your child that relationships bend, but don’t break. It is in the repair that growth takes place. The gold is in the repair. 

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To become a community partner, and learn how your organisation can support, contact Kimberley Dales on 0414 306 483 or email  kimberley@becentre.org.au