When Covid-19 swept the globe, our ‘usual’ lives were thrown into chaos. Overnight, we had to find new ways to work, communicate and co-exist – all without the external structures like our gym sessions, school hours or social connections that previously helped keep us grounded. And as we’ve struggled to find a new normal in an abnormally stressful time, we may have reached for the things that bring comfort or distraction, whether it’s a sugary snack, sneaky cigarette, an online punt, or an extra glass of wine.
At first this was easy to justify. This is an ‘unprecedented’ crisis after all. But as the months have dragged on, some of us are starting to feel a tad uncomfortable about the impacts of our new habits; wondering when and how our self-control will reappear. So, how do you know if a habit really needs changing?
Firstly, assess whether your habit is unhealthy or unhelpful. If it’s impacting your sleep, detaching you from friends, making you less productive, or compromising your health or finances, these are sure signs the habit is indeed an unhealthy and unhelpful one. Once you’ve identified the habit, it helps to uncover the ‘why’.
Habits are essentially learned responses to triggers, situations that make us feel stressed, unhappy or anxious. When confronted with these, we instinctively try to do something (anything!) that alleviates our discomfort. To figure out your triggers, look at when you engage with your unhelpful habit, and ask yourself what feeling you’re attempting to deal with. Seeing the pattern is the first step towards changing it. Sometimes the feelings that bother us the most are the ones we’re not acknowledging.
If you’ve found unhelpful habits having a negative impact on your life, what’s the right strategy to help regain the balance in your life? The one that works best for you will depend on your situation, but here are some to try.
Notice your thinking
If you’re overwhelmed by anxious or negative thoughts, write them down. Transferring your inner monologue to written words helps you keep track of how your feelings fluctuate and what people or factors set you off.
Talk it through
A sounding board can be enormously helpful when you’re trying to sort through your feelings – so don’t bottle them up! Make time to call someone or if you’re struggling to reach out, text a loved one to let them know you need support. Often simply communicating your inner storm can help to calm it.
Make your habit inconvenient
Put environmental barriers or distance between you and the ‘thing’ you no longer want to do. Want to cut down drinking? Don’t keep alcohol in the house. Want to stop obsessing over social media? Don’t sleep with your mobile phone in the room. The harder you have to work to engage in the behaviour, the less likely you are to do it.
Replace your old habit for a (more helpful) new one
Can’t resist a drink in the after-work wind down? Go for a walk or do a guided meditation instead. Finding it hard to limit screen time? Rediscover puzzles or books. Remind yourself there are other ways to respond to stress and anxiety apart from the ones you’ve become accustomed to.
Find a new way to treat yourself. The infuriating thing about so many unhelpful habits is that they feel so good at the time! We tend to justify things like alcohol or chocolate by saying we ‘deserve it’. The trick here is to switch out the ‘reward’ for something else that feels like a treat. It could be a relaxing bath, a new book, yummy takeaway or a TV binge – whatever will make you feel good, but in a way that’s actually good for you.