Covid’s impact on live music has been terminal, but a divine loophole keeps one sure-fire path open for faithful performers. Praise be.
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. Then God said, “Let there be light”, and there was light. Then God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together in one place, and let the dry land appear,” and the oceans and dry lands appeared. Then God said, “Let there be sound.” There was sound. He spoke again, “Let there be drums.” There were drums. God then spoke, “Let there be guitars.” There were guitars. Finally, he let out a thunderous bellow, “Let there be ROCK!…But only when attending tax exempt havens whilst singing songs specifically about me and the great things I’ve achieved alongside fellow worshippers. Then and only then will I allow you to sing, dance and enjoy live music performances which would otherwise leave you riddled with the Covid-19 virus. After all, it is me that decides your fate regardless of the actions you’ve taken to protect yourself from any number of the diseases I have created to test you.”
Well, at least that is the logic put in place by the governing Liberal National Party Coalition. In the very beginning of this pandemic – that is now approaching its 2nd joyous birthday – it really felt like the government had our best interests and ‘safety’ at heart. Their rules were strict but fair and all outlets, festivals and venues were treated equally with only the necessary points of interest being able to stretch the rules to allow standing and walking around to hoard food and toilet paper.
Now it’s hard not to see where the LNP’s allegiance lies as they close and cancel all major festivals, while venues and nightclubs are under strict instructions to not allow people to dance and sing and significantly reduce numbers to an unsustainable level. After all, these are the actions that maximise the spread of a contagious and airborne disease. So, this all really makes sense until you realise all churches, weddings and sporting events are exempt from these rules.
Sport, I can let them get away with the weak excuse of being outdoors, even if there is a bottleneck of 1000’s of strangers squeezing into stadiums, sweating, sneezing and coughing all over each other. Weddings are a family event so perhaps the spread is a little more minimal. However, I would love you, Tawny Frogmouth readers, to email and argue in defence of the church’s and/or the LNP’s special treatment of live music performances at places of worship.
What is the difference between the singing, dancing and mixing at a religious event – or dare I say Hillsong festival – and those same actions taking place at a music festival, nightclub, or live venue? I encourage you all to email and tell me your thoughts, because at this rate the only logical answer is funding and votes that the church undeniably provides the LNP.
If I were to start performing with my band on Sundays, or does it have to be in a church, or must we completely transition ourselves into a particular religion, and replace all the lyrics of “baby” to Jesus, would it then be ok to be there with people wildly dancing and singing to our music? Or must we donate heavily to the current governing party to grease their wheels and lobby our way back to the stage?
Either way, I’d love to hear your thoughts for and against, so that myself and all music performers can best align our devout worshipping of live music with the appropriate religiosity to allow safe passage from masked isolation to staged, full decibel freedom.
Please email mail@thetawnyfrogmouth.com.au under the subject: ‘Digby’s Religious Awakening’.