Your Brain: The Karate Kid

Imagine your heart and brain as people, in fact, they are siblings. Heart, a sweet and open toddler, is full of love, optimism, and innocence. He’s always ready to trust and connect, unaware of the dangers life can bring. His older brother, brain, is a teenager, has seen more of the world, is a bit jaded, skeptical, and protective. Life has already thrown its punches, and brain knows all too well that heart needs guarding. To protect his little brother from getting hurt, brain learned karate – a set of moves designed to defend heart from pain. These moves, known as psychological defense mechanisms, are brain’s way of keeping heart from enduring too much emotional distress.

One of brain’s go-to moves is repression. It’s a swift block, where brain pushes painful feelings, memories, or thoughts down. Heart doesn’t even get a chance to feel the blow because brain hides the pain so effectively. 

Next up is denial, brain’s classic evasion technique. When a situation is too painful or hard to accept, brain refuses to acknowledge it. He turns a blind eye and tells assertively tells heart “Nothing’s wrong here”, even though something definitely is. Heart trusts brain because he is young but also intuits brain is not being truthful. Heart may also feel betrayed by brain for keeping secrets from him and keeping him in a fantasy. He may feel silly or stupid when he learns the truth that others around him may have already known. 

When brain uses projection, he cleverly redirects the uncomfortable emotions onto someone else. Instead of admitting that he feels fear, anger, or sadness, brain accuses others of feeling those emotions. Heart remains protected, but relationships with others can get complicated as pain tossing can hurt others and make them angry. 

Displacement is another karate move, where brain avoids confronting the real source of pain. Instead, brain lets out the frustration in a safer place. If heart is hurt by a close friend, brain might direct the anger toward something less threatening, like getting annoyed with a stranger or snapping at a loved one. 

Then there’s rationalization, brain’s intellectual block. This move helps brain explain away painful experiences with seemingly logical reasons. Heart might be hurt, but brain swoops in, telling him it “wasn’t a big deal”, “it’s not that bad” or “it happened for a reason”. 

Finally, brain, who is also a part-time comedian, deflects with humour. Instead of feeling vulnerable, brain will make a joke, as he knows how much heart loves to laugh. The laughter acts like a playful karate flip, diverting attention away from the emotional discomfort. Both rationalization and humour deflection can be soothing, like aloe vera on a sunburn, but it won’t address the underlying issue of cancer. 

While these defense mechanisms are essential for protecting heart in the moment, they’re only meant for short-term use and do not resolve the deeper underlying emotions or issues. The more karate brain does, the harder it becomes to experience peace, love, and belonging. While brain was only ever trying to protect heart, he also needs to trust heart’s voice as he provides imperative information about what is best for both siblings. When we honour our emotions instead of deflecting them, we gain the clarity to resolve issues and prevent future heartaches. This is the path to peace and genuine emotional connection, where heart and brain can finally rest in harmony.