Be where your feet are

Tom: I’ve been running around all morning, this is actually a perfect time to discuss the topic of being where your feet are. How did this mantra first come to life for you?

Layne: It’s simply a philosophical invitation to be present, to be deeply connected to where you are. It’s obviously impossible to be anywhere else other than where our feet are, but what can take us away from that grounding are the things that might be going on inside our heads. As you and I both know, it can be easy to get stuck in the narratives we tell ourselves. I refer to all the stories going on in our minds as being like a radio station. Sometimes we get stuck with a shock jock. Other times we’re cruising with Smooth FM. The stories are always circulating, so to “Be Where Your Feet Are” is an invitation to disconnect from the narrative, to decompress, be present in the moment, knowing, in all honesty, there is no other moment that exists.

Tom: Exactly right. And how did you come to live with this ethos? Was it a learned experience, or from a specific influence along the way?

Layne: Great question. It comes from meditation, yoga, training, surfing, reading, absorbing as much information as I can, realising that every answer we seek is not outside of us. It is within us, and if we don’t go within, then we will eternally go without. When we’re consciously or constantly seeking answers outside of ourselves, we’re disconnected from our innate truth, disconnected from our values, our intuition. And if we’re constantly overriding that intuition by being too headstrong, then we sabotage ourselves and sabotage our opportunities.

Tom: You certainly seemed a very headstrong athlete in your competitive days.

Layne: I sure was, and yes, it enabled me to win 7 world titles, but it also cost me a lot of joy and a lot of fun. I was too intense, too focused at times while incredibly easily distracted at others. So, reminding myself that for me to get the best out of the moment I’m in, I need to be where my feet are, it makes such a difference. And when I’m there I can take a deep breath and connect with how I’m feeling, how I’m thinking, and how I’m adapting or sabotaging the current situation. Getting in flow with the moment, my greatest wins have come from being in that flow state. Such a beautiful feeling. There’s no mind. It’s just curiosity and play and trust and joy.

Tom: Yeah, the mind is a crazy thing, and I find it’s when you’e facing life’s biggest challenges – and I know you’ve had many, your upbringing certainly wasn’t easy – I’ve found times in my life where I’ve happily coasted along, and it’s not until I get slapped with some serious challenges that it kind of automatically means I have to be where my feet are, like the universe is forcing that upon me, or it’s just not going to work out.

Layne: How did you learn that?

Tom: I’ve faced some mental health challenges. I’ve had years that were super tough, and essentially, for me to carry on doing what I was doing was not going to serve me. I was not going to survive on the path I was treading. It’s like the universe forced me into submission, it put me where I needed to be. The only way I could keep going was to have my feet where they were and just focus on the now. Otherwise, if I got too far ahead or behind, it could spiral. The rock-bottom moments gave me that awareness. Also, while you are struggling, you’re reading books, picking up Eckhart Tolle ideas, I think it all plays into adopting this foundational way of living.

Layne: That’s an incredible summation of so many things you’ve outlined, Tom, around being in the struggle, the pain, the suffering, and trusting that’s where the greatest growth occurs. It’s very challenging to embrace it with such maturity and go, okay, I’m here. What can I do to help myself out of this? Where do I really need to be focusing my attention? The fact that you reach for inspiration and solace and wisdom is testament of your character. A lot of people can find themselves in those situations and go, I need drugs, I need alcohol, I need distraction, I need numbing, I need something that prevents me from feeling this. Whereas you actually reached for something that will deepen your connection with that feeling. And, as I also love to say, you’ve got to feel it to heal it. And it takes courage, a lot of courage to feel it, to heal it, to be where your feet are.

Tom: Before I let you go Layne, for a Tawny reader, perhaps they’re chasing world titles, or mayb it’s a mum getting the kids ready for school, or a bloke unsure on his career path, all sorts of challenges, what practical tips from your experience would you suggest to help people say, “I’m going to be where my feet are.”

Layne: Yes, for sure, my top 3 to be more present. Firstly, just stop and take 3 deep intentional breaths in and out through the nose. Hold at the top for a few seconds and release slowly. The exhale creates the decompression of the stress response. Second, when you’re feeling blue, touch green. If you’re feeling down, feeling anxious, overwhelmed, go immerse yourself in nature. Take your shoes off, be conscious of what your feet are touching. And third, connect with your senses. Notice 3 things you can see, 3 you can smell, 3 you can touch, 3 you can hear. That will help you come back to the present. These are tools I utilised when I was competing, and they’re tools I utilise to this day.

Tom: I just used it then when you were saying the breathing, and already feel more grounded. It was a hectic morning.

Layne: Perfect, Tom.