A day to be celebrated, become nauseated or obligated to conform to social expectations?
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day to celebrate love, but depending on your relationship status, it can be anything but. There are three buckets you can fall in; single, newly coupled, old school coupled.
For the singles out there, Valentine’s Day feels like an obnoxious reminder that you are alone, and it seems like everyone else on the planet is coupled up. I have a vivid memory standing at the bottom of an escalator at Westfield watching a young couple 6 steps above me romantically canoodling in their own little world. I was so internally conflicted; I hated them for having love, but I was also happy for them that they had actually found it. I guess I just wanted what they had. I try to hold that memory close when Feb 14 rolls around and remember my single friends, because for them, Valentine’s Day sucks.
Then we have the old school couples, de facto or married, who feel the weight of expectation weigh heavy on their shoulders. Do I have to get something? Will I be punished if I don’t? We’ve done it every year; can we just skip this one? Why do we have to celebrate this specific day? Aren’t we too old for this? After a while, Valentine’s Day can become a bit of an expectation minefield, and it certainly loses its “romantic essence” when people become overwhelmed with the pressure and feelings of obligation to show or buy love in a particular way.
For young love and new love, this day is exclusively for you. It is a time to overindulge in the Hallmark tradition of cute cards, over-priced roses, expensive outings, and public professions of love. It’s a day to bask in the gushy feelings of being “the chosen one”. I hope that every person gets to have a couple of these mushy V days, but I also want to point out that nobody’s existence needs to be validated by another person choosing to be with them. Each of us are special, unique, lovable, and worthy, with or without a partner.
I’ve got mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day. I love the idea of supporting love, but I don’t like the idea of it being exclusive to intimate relationships. We’ve all got friends who are like family, who have helped us through our crises, some that would no doubt take a bullet for us. What about extending a little platonic love and recognition to them, especially the singles ones?
This V Day, I’ll be shouting out to all my single friends who have shown me so much love over my life. You guys are my chosen ones. And just for a bit of fun, I thought I’d sign off with a poem about modern love. Happy Valentine’s Day guys!
Never thought I’d find Mr. right
But with you it was love at first swipe
Then you went all out with a heart emoji
That’s how I know you were my OG
Our very first date was such a thrill
You had it all planned out, Netflix & chill
We used your phone to order uber eats
I’d never known such chivalry
Then I snapped a pic, loaded it to the gram
We went on tiktok and copied a dance
Hate to say it, but it’s the millennial way
Of modern romance on Valentine’s Day
Scout is a Matchmaker and Relationship Educator. Learn more about her upcoming dating workshops at www.schoolofconnectionsydney.com