Dear Santa (or dear reader if you happen to have that role),
I know that at this time of year you do the rounds, delivering gifts to those whose good behaviour over the year deserves a reward. Below are some suggestions for those who deserve to be recognised with some wine.
I’ve created a scale – the good equivalent to Dante’s Nine levels of hell – where the most benevolent get the best grog. Think of it as a virtuous exchange rate.
1. I’ve been positively Saintly.
Beatification can’t be far off. The least I can expect is to be nominated for Australian of the Year.” Billecart Salmon Rosé Champagne $150. This is what they drink in heaven – if they drink in heaven.
2. Please don’t get me anything, I don’t drink.
That sounds like a challenge. At the risk of insulting/corrupting an innocent soul, here’s a wine that will challenge your teetotal position – Bass Phillip 2021 Pinot Noir $100.
3. I’ve paid all my taxes and donated to lots of charities. But perhaps I erred on the Voice referendum.
How about a more progressive take on tradition with a Christmas pudding you can drink? Sanchez Romate Cardenal Cisneros Pedro Ximenez about $70.
4. I’ve adopted three abandon dogs, two cats and a rabbit. I really regret the rabbit.
You deserve more than a pat. Try a Dog Point Section 94 Sauvignon Blanc 2011, $45. By comparison, most Marl-borough SBs are mere pups.
5. I’ve used public transport to get to work all year and have a Keep-cup. I also offset by flight to Europe.
Enjoy some forgivable Carbon Dioxide emissions with House of Arras Blanc de Blancs NV. A consistently impressive bubbly from Tassie. 94 Points Halliday Wine Companion 2021 $40
6. I have had lustful thoughts about a certain person at work but haven’t acted on them even though I think he likes me.
Time these two shared a bottle. Something joyful and not too serious, like Avalon Rosé, $38.
7. I don’t believe in Santa Claus. But I always buy the Big Issue. 2017 Mt Pleasant Elizabeth Cellar Aged Semillon.
This remarkable Semillon may well challenge your belief system. $27
8. I always put the loo seat down after I’ve had a pee – apart from that one time.
De Bortoli Village Chardonnay 2018, $20. An honest wine, for an honest truth.
9. Although I was disappointed
with the result, I didn’t lambast the NSW NRL team for losing the State of Origin series.”
Taylor’s Promised Land, Cab Merlot $16 – their Shiraz recently won the world’s best red wine award, so you probably won’t be able to find it. Try this instead and pray for the promise of a 2024 series win.
So, Santa, I hope this helps. If you don’t have any of the above in stock, do a search on the names and you’ll discover who has, and for how much. Merry Christmas.
Ben is the creator and author of Wine under 20, Life over 50, dedicated to finding decent wine under $20 a bottle, while knowing any search is inevitably also about the searcher, so that’s the life over 50 bit.