Coping with grief and loss

Tragedy and change, both expected and unexpected, can be causes of two of the most powerful emotions that you can experience – grief and loss. These can be overwhelming and debilitating, leaving individuals feeling a wide range of responses including lost and alone. Whether it’s the loss of a family member or friend, a job, a relationship, or a pet, the pain that comes with it can feel all-consuming. In this article, we’ll explore the different aspects of grief and loss, and offer practical tips to help you cope.

“The feelings of grief and loss can be intense and varied,” says Barbara Stenhouse, Counselling Manager at Lifeline Northern Beaches. “At first, you might feel numb, in shock, or disbelief. As time goes on, you might experience sadness, anger, guilt, or even depression.”

“It’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong way to do it,” continues Barbara. “Some people might cry uncontrollably, while others might withdraw and isolate themselves. Whatever your reaction, it’s important to recognise and acknowledge your feelings without judging them as ‘wrong’.”

Grief and loss can be caused by a variety of events. The most common cause is the passing of a loved one (either through illness, accident or suicide) but it can also be caused by other life-changing events, such as divorce, loss of a job, a broken friendship, or a serious illness.

“When we experience a significant loss,” says Barbara. “We may feel like we have lost a part of ourselves, and the future can seem uncertain.”

So, what can you do to cope with these feelings? Here are some practical tips:

1. Allow yourself to feel your emotions: It’s important to give yourself permission to feel your emotions. Don’t try to push them away or ignore them. Let yourself cry, scream, or do whatever you need to do to release your emotions.

2. Seek support from others: Don’t try to go through the grieving process alone. Talk to friends, family, or a counsellor about what you’re going through. Joining a support group can also be helpful, as it can connect you with others who are going through a similar experience.

3. Take care of yourself: Try to take care of your physical and emotional well-being during this time. Eat well, exercise, and get enough rest. Make time for activities that you enjoy, such as reading, walking, or spending time with friends.

4. Be patient with yourself: Remember that the grieving process takes time. Don’t expect to feel better overnight. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace.

5. Seek professional help if needed: If your grief is interfering with your daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. A psychologist, counsellor or psychiatrist may be able to help you work through your feelings and develop coping strategies.

“Feelings of grief and loss may never completely leave us, especially around anniversaries or other key events,” says Barbara. “But they are likely to become less strong over time.”

There are also many resources available to help you deal with grief and loss. These include online or face-to-face support groups, grief counselling services, and self-help books. Reaching out and asking for help can be an important step.

Grief and loss are powerful emotions that can be difficult to navigate. It’s important to recognise and acknowledge your feelings and seek support from others. Take care of yourself, be patient, and seek professional help if needed. Remember that you are not alone, and there are support services and resources available to help you through this difficult time.