Q. I don’t really want to tell my kids a magical man called Santa brings them presents or that there’s a magic elf watching their behaviour, but I also don’t want them to go to school and ruin other kids’ Christmas. What do I do?
A. I’m a firm believer that parents should be encouraged to parent according to their own values and beliefs, and not a set of values marketed to us by conglomerates. I too have a knee-jerk reaction to ‘Santa’ and the effect it has on all of us to create a magical, wholesome experience for our children (whilst lying through our teeth). And don’t get me started on the irony of an elf that requires us to do literally anything BUT merely place it on a shelf. Seriously, the expectations on parents these days are out of control!
But while I’ve considered cancelling Christmas many times – usually when I’m at my wits’ end no amount of wine will help – I’ve ultimately come to the conclusion that believing in Santa never harmed my childhood and in fact it made it more magical. And while we can lament that Santa is a made-up Western construct, actually every culture has their own version of a magical person/s who bring gifts. There’s Ded Moroz and his granddaughter Snegurochka in Russia, the 13 mischievous Yule Lads in Iceland, Hotei in Japan, and many more.
Perhaps rather than unsubscribing from the Santa message all together – and risk your child becoming the grim reaper of Christmas – you can curate what Santa means in your family. For example, in our home, Santa brings the presents in the stocking, mostly inexpensive items that they needed anyway, such as books, clothes, drink bottles and some cheap plastic toy they once had a tantrum over in Kmart. Think party bag, but elevated.
Whereas the bigger, more expensive present, comes from my husband and I. It’s a social trend I’m trying to start amongst my parent community, where we all agree that Santa brings the items under $20, much like the agreement that the tooth fairy drops gold coins only. I don’t want to hear some kid on the playground saying Santa bought them a trampoline, whilst another kid only got some playdough. Can we at least agree on this?
But if the Santa narrative really doesn’t align with your values – and I encourage you to think carefully on whether this is really a problem you need to take on at such a busy time of year – then of course, do what works for your family and forget about everyone else. Your kid, your rules.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays and good wishes to everyone in the Northern Beaches community.
Are you in need of A Little Advice?
Email mail@thetawnyfrogmouth.com.au with important questions to contentious topics.
About Candace
Candace is an award-winning screenwriter and copywriter who works with CEO’s and industry leaders to elevate their social profiles. Find out more on Instagram @candacelittlewriter and visit candacelittlewriter.com