Understanding addiction: What’s at the bottom of the bottle?

Understanding the true nature of addiction

Generally, when people hear the word addict, they tend to imagine a homeless person, un-groomed, dressed in dirty, ragged clothing doing illicit substances on the side of the road. While this may be true for a sliver of people suffering from substance use disorders, to use it as a sweeping generalisation would only perpetuate a stereotype that doesn’t reflect reality.

According to Canadian physician Gabor Maté, the definition of addiction has three criteria; craving the addictive substance or behaviour, engaging in the substance or behaviour to seek pleasure or relief from pain, and the inability to give up the substance or behaviour. This definition provides a much broader scope for understanding the nature of addiction and the types of people who might be in the throes of its grip.

Another distinction to make here is between substance and process addictions. Substance addictions include things such as drugs, alcohol, smoking or food. Process addictions can include behaviours such as shopping, gambling, sex, social media, gaming, and internet. Some of these things will naturally be part of our life. The key here is to analyze the substance or process against the three criteria, take a good look in the mirror and answer the questions honestly.

Addiction can be incredibly confronting, whether it’s your struggle or if you are in a relationship to someone who is caught in its web. Addiction can drain you in every sense of the word; emotionally, financially, psychologically, physically, and spiritually. Despite its ubiquity,
it is still incredibly misunderstood. So what’s really at the bottom of the bottle?

The four types of pain

Pain, in its simplest form. After working with hundreds of clients at treatments centers, what I can deduce is that pain is at the root of addiction. But what kind of pain? There are four types: physical, emotional, psychological, and existential.

• Physical – pain in your physical body as
  a result of a condition or injury
• Emotional – pain around your feelings
  (anger, shame, guilt, fear, loneliness, grief
  often stemming from trauma)
• Psychological – pain around your thoughts (stress, negative self-talk or beliefs, cognitive distortions, thinking you are inadequate, unworthy, or undeserving)
• Existential – pain around a lack of meaning, purpose, direction, or spirituality

All humans will experience all types of pain throughout life; this is natural and normal. The real challenge comes when we are faced with several types of pain simultaneously and for prolonged periods of time. It becomes unsustainable and we seek respite which is why we turn to the substance or process. Therefore, addiction can be re-framed as an attempt to solve a problem, that problem being an intolerable amount of pain.

What next?

So, now that you understand addiction, what do you do about it?

• First you need to build awareness and come to understand the nature of your pain. This can be incredibly confronting.
• Get a therapist. Then you need to inventory your life and decide whether each piece is filling up your cup or depleting you.
• Finally, it’s about taking action and implementing change in order to build the life you actually want. So now the hard question. If you removed all your vices and emotional crutches propping you up and considered your life, would it be emotionally sustainable, conducive to your well-being, and emotionally and spiritually fulfilling?